OK – this is a first. Looking forward to a date. Chris is a really nice guy and easy on the eyes in more ways than one. He regularly works out and it shows. Has a bright white smile and is an eye surgeon.

Oddly, when he and I started texting me I had just cut my eye taking a contact out! Timing.

He said he would shower me with any eyewear I wanted. Since I collect it, this sounded like heaven.

He has a great Porsche and long Mercedes. I don’t know car names but I can tell he does ok for himself.

He first asked me to spend a weekend in NYC with him – as a first date. I told him I had a dog and couldn’t leave. He said bring the dog. Um, wow.

Tonight he’s taking me to – what he described as “3 Levels of Fine Dining, Cigar Bar, Live Music and a waterfront that only I can show you”. It’s called 219 and is in Old Town Alexandria. Thankfully the dog isn’t here yet and it’s only one day.

Sounds amazing. And, my eye is looking much better – pun intended. Can’t wait to update you on how it went.

I typically don’t drive to any location to meet someone. Too much risk involved. But, I wanted to go out and see new places so I agreed to meet in Silver Spring. It was a cool bar called Not Your Average Joe. Im now thinking I may go to different places and review both the guy and the location! Why not? In addition to wanting to go to a new place, he said two magic words… FREE PARKING! Around here, that is a real savings.

I parked in the garage across the street and headed to the bar. While waiting on the corner I saw the “crossing button”. Not sure why but I love the sound it makes and tend to press it over and over. WELLLLLLLLLL… After my first touch the thing said “WAIT”. Not kidding. I was yelled at by a crossing machine. Naturally, I pressed it again. I was going to win this battle or someone was going to throw me in a padded wagon. Luckily, the light changed. I kept walking.

Sonny was really cute. Indian, 5’10” and 41. He had fabulous stories about trips and nutty POF dates!

He told me that he didn’t believe I was real. That women “like me” aren’t on POF. Like me? Human?

We had a drink and shared chicken tenders. I was a bit hungry even though I had a two hour lunch at Capital Grille.

He used to be an IT guy but always loved airplanes so he went to flight school. Then became a flight instructor. After that he decided to fly. He loves it but also wants a stable home-base. I get that.

The night ended and he asked to see me again. In fact he texted twice last night making sure I got home then thanking me for the date. He offered the next date to be somewhere warm since he could fly me anywhere I wanted to go. I will surely keep his number but my dance card is completely full for the next several weeks. Really good guy tho.

sbkdfu;asdhovuahodvhio!! asodhjoasdvhiodsipjiesfhoin! awefjw!!

Yes, that is exactly how I feel right now. Holy cow!

Jeffrey apologized up one side and down another and asked for a raincheck (lets be honest, no rain-checks here) but of course I said yes. He had some sort of emergency and opted to text me as opposed to ghost me. Kind of classy…

Dave texts me “Hi. I liked your profile and it sparked my interest. I know this is short notice but I am looking for a buddy o grab a drink with tonight. Have any interest? Dave

Well, yes, yes I do! I was already planning on going there so why not?

First, Vivian was busy with what can only be described as hell night. 40 top with screaming, rude-ass 4 year olds. OMG. Running through the restaurant, throwing food. Idiot parents.

I was stashed in the back and got poor service. But, whatever.

Apologies to my true Prince Fan, true surfer, true Ken doll – Sean. I love you but tonight was for sure a Ken Doll.

Dave is a brunette so it’s a bit different but his face, his mannerisms are all so much like on the set of a Barbie production. Not sure about any other parts. Sorry Dave…

Dave is a Chief Financial Officer of a major printing company. AAPR is one of his largest customers at 30 million pieces per drop. He talked about everything (everyyyyy0thinggggg) including day-trading oil futures. Yes, day-trading. I don’t know much but I do know that oil is ‘get it and forget it.’ Who day trades oil??? Dave. He also owns several pieces of real estate, rental properties, and is a massive gardener.

He is a surfer and his sweet spot is in the Outer-banks just following a hurricane. He explained barometric pressure, the curve of the wave looking like glass, the calmness. I wanted glass two of wine.

He was absolutely on an interview and squirmed, a lot. He didn’t stop talking and I’m not convinced he even breathed. He wanted to impress me with everything he knew. As a Masters grad from Loyola, guessing he did have something upstairs.

We were an hour in and he already had the next three dates planned. The Guiness Distillery, some comedy place, and a DC bar that he knew “I would love!”

Super nice. Complimented me. Asked questions. Very engaging. But, the service was so poor that I was yawning and just needed to wrap it up. He wanted to walk me home but I insisted we part at the restaurant. My body language told him handshake only, even for a Ken Doll. He politely accepted it and already texted.

Chivalry.

Had to break Jamie’s heart. He has likely sent me the most messages of anyone on POF. Sweet, thoughtful and super excited to meet me. My day went to shit with BS that SJ was pulling and it delayed some really important work that I had to do. I told Jamie that I couldn’t meet him and boy was he bummed. Sad face emoji like crazy.

Corey swoops in, like he does. He knows what a turd SJ is and wanted me to have fun. We ate at Fat Boy’s Crab House, smoked at a cigar bar, went to play pool and darts. Admittedly, we were hogging the table. I was in a pissy mood but getting better and didn’t really want to share. This couple comes up and said something like “we got next game”. For some reason it struck me as “I want to start playing now, move over”. So, that’s what we did. We decided to end our game and do couples. They were on their first date and looked really happy! We opted for ladies against men and quickly decided L & J as our team name. Clever, ay?

L was smoking hot, very friendly, forward, fun. You can tell that she was ready to take control of any situation and we were merely there to entertain her. I was fine with that – she was for sure – someone I wanted in my tribe after tonight. (fast forward, she is!!!) Her date was a young buck and when I “lets say accidentally” touched his abs, I knew he took great care of himself. I could tell they were going to have fun but what I didn’t know is how much fun the four of us would have!!!

We were bad at pool. Really bad. But we had a ton of fun. L suggests we move to darts. Darts and drinking, what could go wrong? Well, nothing did but I still thank it’s an odd mixture. L was very formal with scorekeeping and knew what she was doing. Sam handed me my set of darts and forgot to tell me that I shouldn’t throw the whole handful at once. Meh, waddeveh! I got to drink quicker that way. From that moment on, Corey and Sam stifled my creative approach and handed me darts one at a time. FINE!

L and I exchanged numbers and the obligatory selfie for phone identification. And perhaps to remember that it really happened! She and I will for sure have a second date. I’m told Sam will too!!! XO

Brian is a real charmer, a gentleman with a great smile and warm personality. He takes great care of himself and it shows. He owns an insurance company and, by the looks of everything, he does well. Brian is a great conversationalist and polite. He’s very much in to sports and we had fun debating what is or is not a sport (hotdog eating, jumping rope, chess). Enter, Vivian. She’s my new bartender here and I hope she will be in all of my dates. Viv, if you’re reading this, feel free to weigh in, comment on every post. Introduce yourself. It’s a very small group who reads this so no worries. Vivian chirped in on several of our conversations, especially on what is or is not a sport.

Vivian is fun. She kept me company before Brian arrived. We looked at my press photos, talked lipstick, learned about each other. I told her about my online dating and this blogging adventure.

Brian and I left Vivian’s bar and went to the basement of a nearby bar. I was dealing with work and massive SJ drama but he was so nice to walk me through it all. Of all the guys that I have met, he was likely the easiest to talk with and be around. I genuinely enjoyed his company. I did give him my number. He texted me twice already and has a few suggestions for our next date. Even if my next opening is January. He said he would wait.

I will edit this soon. Gotta get to work.

Old Towne, Emma Briant, the Ron Swanson – Sunday alexandria

I will edit this soon. Gotta get to work.

West Virginia horse racing, cigars, betting, pro ball player, gorgeous home, Sunday distillary date, sorry bubbie.

A first for everything… I was stood up. Anthony was a really good looking ad agency exec. His photos looked like he had a zest for life and his texts were just as much fun. He tried to come on strong but I pushed back. Eventually he got the picture and replied “yes goddess, anything you say goddess”. MUCH BETTER.

As it was clear he was not going to show, a guy at the next table asked to join me. His name is Jorge and he works at Capital Grill. We had a great conversation and one drink. The older lady and her daughter seated behind us at Lia’s said “now he’s cute”, winked and gave me the thumbs up. HA!

It was a nice night so I walked him to work across the street. Sat at the bar and met a few people. One is named Chel! Another Chel! She was sunny, kind, smart and loved sitting at that bar. She gave me her number and asked me to brunch on Sunday.

In all, a good night but fuck that guy. I should post his photo but I’ll refrain.

Yes, I was planning a “washboard abs” week. Guys here really take care of themselves and I have quite a selection to choose from. Arlie contacted me, a lot. Sent nice, thoughtful messages and was interesting. I knew he was intelligent and worked hard… turned out to be an understatement.

He was 30 minutes late. I don’t wait. However, I was at Capital Grill and was sitting with the Chief of Oncology at a major hospital. We had a great conversation and he said that he would “wait with me” to be sure that I was having fun… and that I didn’t bail on Arlie as he would likely be exhausted from traffic. To be fair, Arlie was texting every few minutes, showing traffic photos and I was enjoying the Doc talk.

Then, like Fabio in a butter commercial, Arlie walked in. Even the Doc checked him out. He was good looking – sure – and CRAZY hot body but it was more like he owned the room. Refreshing change to see confidence. He gave me a huge smile, which was nice, and apologized over and over for being late. Then, in true Janice fashion, I introduced him to just about everyone in the bar that I had already made friends with. Ha! I tried, hard, to stick to my one drink policy but COME ON! This guy was really fine. I was drinking dirty martini’s and opted for a second. Arlie is very, very well off. He’s an investment banker and does angel investing too. He asked great questions, very interested in me, my day, my opinions of the area. He gave me great compliments and flirted, a lot.

Drink two ended and we were there for over an hour. He said lets go which, to me, implied that we were done. To him it was “on to the next place”. Clearly he doesn’t know me. I told him I was going home and he got very happy… until I told him he would not be joining me. He did make it hard (pun intended, I could tell from a mile away) to turn him away. He is latin and said that he had a sure way to get me to say yes to a second date, a kiss. In the spirit of science, I agreed.

Knees… buckled. Face..melted. Jeeezussss. Not kidding, his body is freaking amazing and that close to me was hot. But, I’m me. I complimented him. He complimented me. I said goodnight and he immediately asked for another date. I have not responded yet, mostly because I’m booked solid for several weeks. But I’m also worried I would… um… you know… agree to go with him to Paris and let the 60 waiting guys down. If he wants to wait, I will try to squeeze him in.

*editors note – text from him every day. He’s not taking no for an answer. Gulp.

Sparkling eyes, amazing accent, gorgeous teeth. Andrew has been in the USA for 25+ years and is a senior engineer for a government contract firm. He explained what he did but I zoned out. You know, engineers have a way of doing that to me. His profile said “Senior Consultant”. If it said engineer I would have swiped him off my space. Glad that I didn’t.

As I texted my friend John, Andrew was a snooze yet piqued my curiosity. He turned out to be a world traveler and we both visited many of the same places. He has a real zest for adventure and life. Nice to see culture like that.

As is true for all my dates – just one drink. I had a pinot griggio and he had a chardonnay. I tell my dates “one drink only” then I decide if we carry on. Something made me say yes to a second glass of wine. He got a slice of pizza and zucchini fries. He hated my meeting choice, but it was convenient for me, so he went with it. We continued to learn about each other and he grew on me. Maybe because he swore i was 38. That surely must be it.

We went for a walk after drinks. Weather was amazing and the city here is quite nice. Any time you can have Tiffany’s and Sax as your backdrop, it is a fun stroll. Keeping in mind he’s VERY European, he went in for a kiss. Keeping in mind that I’m Janice Ortbring, I put a stop to it. I’ve learned just how “Polly Anna” I really am… quite a bit. He pressed on and landed one. Woah. He then asked me to see him again but I made him walk me to the door and said good night. This guy would have put me on an airplane and whisked me off to Paris, tonight, if I would have said yes. He had the looks, money, charm, fortitude to do it. But, again, I’m Ellen Jay. Went to the penthouse to write this blog.